Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Free Association Fantasy

Okay, I'm posting this a day early. Why? Because I'm really excited? Why? Because my blog just set a new personal high for monthly viewership. FURTHERMORE, it is super close to getting over 2,000 monthly views for the first time EVAR. I know that's teeny-weeny beans in the grand data flow that is the internet, but for my little corner of the web, it's a significant milestone. Can I get the remaining 40 views by the end of tomorrow? I sure as heck hope so!

Now, let's cut to the chase. Fantasy art is weird and classic fantasy art is downright nutzo! Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the work of folks like Frazetta and Vallejo, but the situations these folks dream up are not just fantastic, but often hard to wrap your mind around. I'm fairly certain most of them reflect a deep-seated anxiety over their inability to find clean pants.

Well, I have decided that I will help interpret some of these seminal (heh... seminal) works of fantasy art for you, my lovely readers.

First, we have the piece, Two-headed Dragon by Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell. This lovely painting depicts the lithe widow Higgenbottom pleading with her neighbor and fellow gardening enthusiast, Mr. Francis Whipple to help her coax her pet, Smokey, down from the top of the magnolia tree.

The painting captures the moment when Mr. Whipple, frustrated by the stubborn Smokey, prepares to cut away the branch on which the pet is perched. 

"I'm sorry Gladys, but we've exhausted all options. We need to either leave out a can of food and wait, or trust in his ability to land on his feet."

Anyway, let me know if you like this bit, and I'll try to do some more.


  1. If only the rescue didn't mean Mr. Wipple was trampling all over the widow's prizewinning lithofungi! That's stone mushrooms, for those of you who aren't literate in words I just made up.

  2. What will the ladies of the Zebulon Fungi Club think!? I can just see the smug face of Mrs. Cratersworth at the annual picnic.

  3. How can you combo this with ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS?

  4. Del, this concept is pretty derivative/inspired by ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS and Catalog Living.

  5. I think she is all for the plan as it looks like she has drawn her knife to help.

  6. Excellent observation, Budd. I assumed that the knife was drawn in frustration over the anticipated smugness of Mrs. Cratersworth, but you could very well be correct.


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